In this Issue:
Staff Snippet: OFC’s Intersectional Work
Making Invisible Families Visible
Spirituality, Our Children, Our Families
Monster Mash Halloween Bash Potluck
Understanding Fertility and Family Building Panel
Creating Supportive Schools for LGBTQ youth in Contra Costa County
Gay Future Dads – Surrogacy Made Simple(r)
LGBTQ Family Bowling
Oakland Breakthrough Conversations
Ongoing Groups
Community Events
Community Announcements
In the News & Media

Staff Snippet: OFC’s Intersectional Work
Dear Families,
I am very excited to participate in the Community Conversation with Mignon Moore on Friday October, 19th (see the box below for details). As OFC’s Education Coordinator, I am proud to see our staff working diligently, in collaboration with eleven community partners, to offer programs that focus on the intersections of race, class, and LGBTQ family life.
As an educator, I am delighted to be included in a conversation about such groundbreaking, social justice-oriented, academic work. And most importantly, as a lesbian mother of color, it brings me deep joy to witness efforts to “make invisible families visible.” Also, the first 50 people to arrive at the event will be entered in a drawing to win two tickets to the Wanda Sykes show, so I am hoping to get there early to network and enter to win. See you all there!
Heaven Walker
Education Coordinator

Making Invisible Families Visible


Join us for an interactive conversation about culture, race, and families. Dr. Moore will share her studies of families headed by lesbian/queer women of color & discuss strategies for raising families in same-sex couple and single lesbian families.


Mignon Moore is a professor of sociology at UCLA and Winner of the 2012 Distinguished Book Award from the American Sociological Association Section on Sex & Gender. Copies of “Invisible Families: Gay Identities, Relationships and Motherhood among Black Women” will be available for purchase at the event.


Childcare and refreshments will be provided upon RSVP.  For more information, contact cheryl@ourfamily.org or call 510-332-0496.


When: Friday, October 19, 6-8pm Where: Ed Roberts Campus, 3075 Adeline St., Berkeley   Registration: Click here! $10 suggested donation, please RSVP by October 15.

No one will be turned away from lack of funds.

Spirituality, Our Children, Our Families: A Workshop for LGBTQ Parents!


Come  learn from a diverse group of religious professionals about the  positive impact spirituality and faith can have in our families. They  will suggest ways for us to incorporate spirituality in a healthy and  positive way. They will also provide some helpful tools for parents and  our children to respond to people who use religious language to promote  intolerance and inequality. There will be time for questions and  discussion as well.  We  have invited representatives from the following faiths: Bahai,  Buddhism, Episcopal, Judaism, Metropolitan Community, Unitarian  Universalist, United Church of Christ, Wiccan/Paganism. Childcare will be provided by the Island United Church, and dinner will be provided by Hobee’s.


When: Wednesday, October 17, 6-8pm Where: Island United Church, 1130 Balclutha Drive, Foster City

Registration: Contact Joy Caneda at jtcaneda@yahoo.com or 650-515-1901 

Monster Mash Halloween Bash Potluck


Float on by with your fabulous little ghost, princess or anything  in between to a Halloween Bash and please bring a dish along to feed the  costumed masses! The Rainbow Room at the SF LGBT Community Center will  be transformed into a creepy Halloween experience with lots of fun,  crafts, and giveaways.  Our annual costume fashion show is also always a  blast, so come do the mash…and it’ll be a graveyard SMASH! This event  is co-sponsored by the San Francisco LGBT Community Center.

Click here to see pictures from last year’s event!

When: Saturday, October 27, 12-2pm Where: The SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market St., San Francisco

Registration: Click Here! 

Understanding Fertility and Family Building Panel


Are you thinking about becoming a parent? Come hear our panel of experts from Lolo Health Center, The Sperm Bank of California, Family Formation Law Offices, Donor Concierge and Laurel Fertility Care discuss the options of becoming a parent.

When: Tuesday, October 30, 6-8pm Where: BANANAS (parking and entrance in rear), 5232 Claremont Ave, Oakland

Registration: Click Here! 

Creating Supportive Schools for LGBTQ youth in Contra Costa County

The purpose of the day is to gather as a community of LGBTQA youth and their adult allies to create more inclusive and supportive schools across Contra Costa County.


Participants will:
  • Discover and engage in new networks
  • Be more aware of community resources and organizations that support LGBTQ youth and their families
  • Gain specific skills/resources/strategies for personal advocacy in support of LGBTQ youth
  • Leave with a vision for empowering LGBTQ youth as leaders

When: Saturday, November 3, 9am-3:30pm Where: Harding Elementary School, 7230 Fairmont Ave,

El Cerrito

Registration: Click Here! 

Gay Future Dads – Surrogacy Made Simple(r)


Prospective parents seeking to understand surrogacy will face a lot of decisions in what is not always a well understood process.  This session is designed to help those intending to parent through gestational surrogacy understand the entire process from commitment to birth.  Amy Kaplan from West Coast Surrogacy will describe which services (legal, medical, etc.) will be involved, how surrogate matching works, and the rough timeline one can expect, as well as answer any questions. Visit Gay Future Dads by clicking here.


When: Saturday, November 10, 3-5pm Where: Disclosed upon registration, contact julia@ourfamily.org for more info

Registration: Click Here! 

LGBTQ Family Bowling


Dust off those bowling balls and shoes, it’s time for the first LGBTQ family bowling outing in the East Bay! There will be bumpers in the lanes for the little ones and the all inclusive cost is $10 per person.


When: Sunday, November 11, 12-3pm Where: AMF Southshore Lanes, 300 Park Blvd., Alameda

Registration: Click Here! 

Oakland Breakthrough Conversations


Do you want to help create a safer, kinder, and more inclusive world for our families and loved ones? Are you ready to fulfill your calling as a leader?


If so, we invite you to get involved in a new effort known as The Breakthrough Conversation Project! Our main goal is to harness the power of our own personal relationships to continue expanding support for LGBTQ families in our schools, neighborhoods, and diverse communities.


Childcare, continental breakfast and lunch will be provided. You are invited to attend either the Morning Training, the Afternoon Dialog OR BOTH free of charge. Register now to save your space!


When: Saturday, November 17, 9am-3:30pm Where: Nile Hall, 1233 Preservation Park Way, Oakland

Registration: Click Here! 

Ongoing Groups
Habitot Kids PaintingMamas & Papas East Bay: Families with Children Ages 0-5
Expand your circle of LGBTQ parents and explore concerns and tips shared by all parents as well as those of special interest to our families. Help your kids build friendships with other children from LGBTQ families. Mamas & Papas is a project of OFC. Keep your infants with you while all other kids play in Habitot Children’s Museum. Dinner will be provided for children only. Suggested donation of $10 per adult, no one turned away for lack of funds.
Registration: Click Here! When: Every 1st Wednesday, November 7, 5:30-7:30pm Where: Habitot Children’s Museum, 2065 Kittredge St., Berkeley
Mamas & Papas SF: Playgroup at Plaza Adelante, Ages 0-5
A special collaboration with Good Samaritan Family Resource Center. Come join this new Mamas and Papas (children 0-5) playgroup at Plaza Adelante!
Registration: Click Here! When: Every 2nd Tuesday, November 13, 10am-12pm Where: Plaza Adelante, 2301 Mission St., San Francisco
Mamas & Papas SF: Families with Children Ages 0-5 New families are always welcome! Expand your circle of LGBTQ parents and explore concerns and tips shared by all parents as well as those of special interest to our families. Help your kids build friendships with other children from LGBTQ families. Mamas & Papas is a project of OFC. Registration: Click Here! When: Every 4th Wednesday, October 24, 6-7:30pm Where: SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market St., San Francisco
Mamas & Papas SF: Families with Children Ages 5-12 (with COLAGE Youth Programming for youth 8+)
Expand your circle of LGBTQ parents and explore concerns and tips shared  by all parents as well as those of special interest to our families.  Help your kids build friendships with other children with LGBTQ  families. Mamas & Papas is a project of OFC. Dinner and free KidSpace childcare for  children under 8 is provided.
Registration: Click Here! When: Every 3rd Wednesday, October 17, 6-7:30pm Where:SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market St., San Francisco

Prospective Parents Group

Are you a prospective parent? If so, this is the perfect opportunity to meet and network with other LGBTQ prospective parents. These monthly get-togethers switch between San Francisco and the East Bay, and are a great opportunity to meet fellow LGBTQ prospective parents. This is a potluck, so remember to bring your favorite creation. OFC will bring material on resources and agencies that can help on your road to parenthood. Potluck from 6:30-7pm, discussion from 7-8pm. Moms Rachel and Alexsis will share their family building experience.  They formed their family through assisted reproduction and used The  Sperm Bank of CA.
Registration: Click Here! When: Tuesday, October 23, 6-8pm   Where: OFC Office, 1385 Mission St., Ste. 340, San Francisco
Transgender Parent Grouptrans
Are you or your partner a transgender parent? Or thinking about becoming a parent? The Transgender Parent Support Group is an opportunity to connect with your peers and get mutual support.  The group will meet every third Saturday of each month. The First half hour will be spent socializing, with the remaining time dedicated to group discussion. Drop-ins are welcome, but ongoing attendance helps to establish group rapport.
Registration: Click Here! When:  Every 3rd Saturday, October 20, 10am-12pm Where: SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market St., San Francisco

Community Events
Join us for Queer Qumbia this Friday! 

Interested in getting more involved with Somos Familia? ¿Do you like to dance cumbia, merengue, or salsa? Funds will go directly to Somos Familia! Donation/cover fee: $3-$7 (No one will be turned away for lack of funds!)
When: Friday, October 19, 10pm
Where: Bissap, 3372 19th St., San Francisoc
Parenting Workshop with Dr. Levine
  St. Paul’s Episcopal School and Temple Sinai Preschool invite you to an evening with Madeline Levine, Ph.D., psychologist, and author of Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.


Dr. Levine will share insights from her latest book, which is a toolbox for parents, providing information, relevant research, and a series of exercises to help parents clarify a definition of success that is in line with their own values as well as their children’s interests and abilities. Q&A session to follow.


When: Tuesday, October 23, 7-8:30pm

Where: St. Paul’s Episcopal School, 116 Montecito Ave., Oakland


Sex-Positive Parenting Workshop Series: Strategies and Support for Families


Wednesday, October 24th from 5:30-7pm – Walking the Sex-Positive Talk

This workshop is designed for parents who want to learn how to convey their own lived experiences of both gender and sexuality to their children. Learn how you can replace larger cultural scripts that are inherently sex-negative with age-appropriate messages that are inclusive to sexual diversity.
Wednesday, November 7th from 5:30-7pm – What to say and When to say it Strategies for age-appropriate conversation about sexuality and desire. Learn the different developmental stages of sexuality and what conversations you can expect to have as your child grows. We will also role play, practice and share strategies on when to have the little conversations that add up to a solid foundation of sexuality education.


Click here to register, $25 at the door, $20 in advance

Where: SFSU Downtown Campus, Room 599A, 835 Market St., San Francisco
Express Yourself – API Equality Fundraiser
Please join us at the first ever benefit party for API Equality-Northern California! Come eat, drink, dance, mingle and express your love with our awesome supporters. We’ll have prizes and surprises all throughout the night.
When: Thursday, October 25, 6-9pm Where: SomaR Bar, 1727 Telegraph Ave., Oakland Tickets: $25, Click Here!

Indelible Images Photography Photoshoots
Bring your kids, grandparents and pets for a mini photo session by award-winning, Our Family photographer, Limor Inbar and get a beautiful family portrait for your holiday card, as well as a slew of authentic, connected, joyful images of your family.
For $125 you get a 20 minute portrait session at a local park and a high res image of your family. Limor will also photograph individual shots (if you need any head-shots), and combinations of all family members. Email us at limor@indelible-images.com and let us know which location and time work for you.  This offer is by RSVP only.
Sun. Oct. 28 at Alvarado Park, Richmond
Sun. Nov. 4 at Piedmont Park, Piedmont
Sun. Nov. 25 at Grestle Park, San Rafael
Fri. Nov. 30 at Alvarado Park, Richmond
Understanding Your Fertility & Family Building Options
A Roundtable Discussion facilitated by Dr. Collin Smikle, Medical Director of Laurel Fertility Care to learn about a range of options including home insemination, IUI, IVF, and family formation with sperm donors, egg donors, surrogacy & adoption. Includes an update from the National Center for Lesbian Rights on AB 2356, a CA reproductive rights bill signed into law by Gov. Brown on 9/28/12 which impacts LGBTQ families & single parents doing IUI with known sperm donors. This seminar is an opportunity for patients & providers to learn & share information about fertility & family building. We welcome you to bring educational materials.
When: Tuesday, October 30, 5:30 pm Pizza, 6-8pm Seminar Where: BANANAS, 5232 Claremont Ave., Oakland Register: Call Maya at 415-547-9722 or e-mail maya@laurelfertility.com
“Queers Making Babies” – Conception Support GroupFor LGBTQ people who could use some support in continuing or planning their process for getting pregnant. This group will offer the opportunity to:

  • Support each other through this challenging and hopeful time
  • Enhance your ability to cope with the mix of emotions that can be overwhelming and confusing
  • Exchange resources about various methods for conception, including sperm banks, known donors, & co-parenting
  • And much more

When:    Thursday evenings, 7:30-9:00pm Where:   Berkeley, register for exact location. Cost:     $40 per session per person (Sliding scale may be available) Contact: Laura Goldberger, MFT, laura@lauragoldberger.com, (510) 665-7755

“Castro Dads”: A Group for Gay Dads in the SF Bay Area
Our Family Coalition is supporting a social networking group for gay dads (and gay men thinking/wanting to become a dad) in and around San Francisco.
When: Last Tuesday of the month, 5:30-7:30pm
Where: Squat and Gobble, 3600 16th St., San Francisco

Community Announcements
Calling Gay Dads!


The Lives of Gay Fathers and their Children Researchers at Tufts Medical Center and Tufts University are currently looking for your help with one of the first multi-state studies about the families gay fathers create! While there have been many studies on lesbian moms, little research has been done on how gay dads choose to become fathers and the ways in which they experience parenting.  Be a part of the advancement of understanding of gay dads.


If you are a gay father in California, you can help! We are interested in talking to you, no matter what your relationship status is, how old your children are, or how you became a father. The first step is to respond to a brief, confidential questionnaire. Some respondents will be invited to complete a more in-depth web survey in the upcoming weeks and others in several months. You can help to make this study happen! More information is available at www.gaydadstudy.com  or email kmattern@tuftsmedicalcenter.org.


Lesbian & Bisexual Women of Color Study


Hello! My name is Cirleen DeBlaere, and I am an assistant professor in the College of Education at Lehigh University. My research team and I are conducting a study on the life experiences and well-being of lesbian and bisexual women of color. It is our hope that with this study, we can contribute to the understanding of the experiences of individuals with multiple and intersecting minority identities. Your participation is essential to achieving this goal, so we hope that you will take part in our study. In order to participate, you must identify as lesbian or bisexual, as a woman of color, currently live in North America, and be 18 years of age or older.  If you would like to participate in my study, please click here.


In the News & Media
LGBT Activists, Let’s Take Back ‘Pro-Family’: It’s time to stop calling anti-gay groups and individuals “pro-family.” I have learned that if the word “family” is in an organization’s name, then I can expect them to be working against the creation and support of families in reality. Similarly, if a politician says she is “pro-family,” you can expect her to fight against most bills that strengthen all families. The media, along with many pro-gay activists, tend to label these groups “pro-family.” The same label is applied to conservative policy makers, who tend to fight against any gay-rights legislation. Instead of being “pro-family,” these groups and individuals are the opposite.
Advocates Survey Gay Elders’ ‘Golden Years’: Tommi Avicolli Mecca came out as a queer man in South Philadelphia in the 1970s, a young revolutionary fighting social intolerance through his work in the Gay Liberation Front. Four decades later, Mecca, 61, is a senior activist in a graying gay community that is largely invisible and struggling with a new set of challenges. San Francisco is home to an estimated 25,000 lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ) elders aged 60 years or older, a demographic expected to double by 2030 as baby boomers age. It’s a generation under study by a new city task force.
US immigration chief: Same-sex ties are family ties: Same-sex couples will be considered “family relationships” in immigration proceedings, according to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, a move that could help stem the deportation of those in gay or lesbian bi-national relationships.
Miami (Ohio) hockey, Brendan Burke’s old team, releases You Can Play video: The You Can Play project, inspired by the death of gay Miami (Ohio) hockey manager Brendan Burke, launched about six months ago. While the hockey team, coached by Enrico Blasi, had embraced Brendan completely, it was curious that they hadn’t put out a You Can Play video. Now we know why: They wanted to do it right. Mission accomplished. This weekend they released an beautifully produced video with stirring music and sincere testimonials that went beyond simply saying “You Can Play,” but also honored the life of the man they lost too soon in a tragic accident.
Out in the Silence Award for Youth Activism 2012: And the Winners Are… Three years ago, as stories about the alarming rates of anti-gay bullying and youth suicide were beginning to receive national attention, we started traveling to communities across the country with Out in the Silence, our PBS documentary about the brutal bullying of a gay teen and his family’s courageous call for accountability, to raise awareness about the issues and help people develop solutions.
Churches Kick Off Ally Week and Look Ahead to Spirit Day: Spirit Day isn’t until this Friday, but many churches used their weekend worship to kick off Ally Week, leading up to Spirit Day. Last Sunday, GLAAD challenged participants to ask their place of worship to go purple. So far, over 50 religious organizations and congregations have signed on to participate in Spirit Day, and many got the ball rolling over the weekend.
A Call to Action to Bring LGBT Health Disparities out of the Closet: Twenty-five years ago, the AIDS Memorial Quilt was displayed for the first time in Washington, D.C., and hundreds of thousands of people participated in a march for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights. The U.S. can celebrate progress on a few measures of social justice for the LGBT community — yet the nation has barely begun to address the silent crisis of health disparities in LGBT populations.
30 Gay, Lesbian and Bi Athletes Who Have Come Out in the Past Year: Today, Oct. 11, is National Coming Out Day, a day for LGBT people to stand up and be counted. It’s a perfect time to remind everyone that gay and lesbian athletes are part of the community of people making their voices heard and being proud.
First gay sports fest shows changing Nepal attitudes:  Clad in pink, blue and yellow clothes, more than 250 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) athletes took part in a sports festival in the Nepali capital, Kathmandu, on the weekend, billed by organizers as the first in South Asia.
Gay Voices’ Family Friday- Meet Jon and Dustin’s Family: On Father’s day this year, we became fathers ourselves, and we spent the last 3 months in North Carolina, because our wonderful surrogate agreed to pump breast milk for our children. But now we are heading back to our home in the Philippines. Although neither the Philippines nor North Carolina recognize the legality of our love, we will be forever grateful to our family and friends in both places who continually prove to us that love is not dictated by the law. And to the United States, which does allow people like us to have our own kids.
Straight Guy Lives Life As A Gay Man For A Year: Timothy Kurek grew up in a religiously conservative family, and was told that homosexuality was an abominable sin. He regularly counseled friends and families on how to approach homosexuality. “The loving thing to do is to tell my friend who is gay, ‘Hey, listen, you are an abomination and you need to repent to go to heaven.’ I absolutely believed in that lock, stock and barrel,” he said. And then four years ago, a close friend confided that she was a lesbian and that her family had disowned her because of it. Something in him broke.

Our Family Coalition promotes the equality and well-being  of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer families with  children. We foster community leadership in advocacy efforts that  promote social justice. 

Headquarters: 1385 Mission St., Ste. 340, San Francisco, CA 94103

East Bay Office: 401 Grand Ave., Ste. 400, Oakland, CA 94610

www.ourfamily.org · 415-981-1960


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